Aftermath
by Fleeting Vapor
Summary: I am here, waiting for you, but even as I wait, I fear the moment when you open your eyes. When you see me, you will realize what I already know, what I have lived with all these years, and I will finally put to voice the thoughts I cannot say. Noblesse.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Noblesse is not mine! Check out the original Korean webtoon on Naver (or the English one on Egscans)  
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**(Guess who is speaking and who he/she is speaking to)  
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**Aftermath (Part 1)**

I have come as I promised, but even if I hadn't promised there is no where else to go. Being here with you is the only comfort in this place. Even then, it is a lonely comfort. You are always silent so I feel as though I should speak, but I never have much to say.

I think about what I would say to you if I could. If I had the heart to tell you about the images that are seared into my mind. Or maybe I should ask you what you remember first. We could start from there. I imagine you opening your eyes. First you would see me. This would be unexpected, and you would look around before turning your eyes back to me. I would avoid the question that must on your thoughts.

Instead, I tell you about Dr. Crombel. This must be a surprise. After all this time, I start with him. But don't think about it too much. I try not to. He's dead. Was that a bigger surprise? It gets worse so try to stay with me. Yes, worse. The days when Dr. Crombel was our enemy seem like a safe haven now. I know you're not wondering about this, but I will tell you anyway. He was executed. For all his abilities, for all the people he manipulated, for all his powers, for all this, he failed to see that he was nothing more than a puppet as well. And when the first elder finally made his move, he fell and the world fell with him.

Perhaps this is too much to start with, but I tried to start with the easiest part. I'll give you a minute to think about it. I've had centuries. The least I can do is give you a little time. Maybe you're wondering why I'm here? Like I've told you before, there is nowhere else to go. This is where it get's harder, but I will start with some good news. Suyi lived. She was on tour when it happened. I was relieved to hear that, but I sometimes wonder if it would have been better if she had died. I know, it's a horrible thing to say. But if you had seen her after that incident, you would have wondered the same. I think it was worse for her this way. I know it was worse for me. And, in a way, I think it's worse for you than for either of us. But you'll understand what I mean soon enough.

We were at school when it happened. Yes, we both were there. Do you remember? I hope not. I wish I didn't remember these things, but I realize that even if you don't ask, you want to know. So I'll continue even though it is difficult for me to say this. I was there. So were you. We didn't know what happened. We felt the heat first. It was sudden and intense like a flash of lightening and then we saw the flames. The force picked us up off our feet and threw us into the wall. But then, the walls caved in with us and the ceiling crumbled into balls of fire as it fell from the sky.

It was too late from the beginning. I want you to know that. There was nothing we could do. Please, believe it. Believe it because I can't accept it. I know that I'm to blame. We all were. But not you. Please don't blame yourself because I need you to be strong. If you broke down the way I did, I would have nothing left to hold onto. So, please, I know this is hard. Please, just listen. Don't say anything.

It was the first elder. I warned you to cherish the days with Dr. Crombel. I told you it got worse, but I started with the easy part. The children died in the explosion. The entire school except for us. That's why the first elder did it, I think. It was an easy way to find us. The humans would die and anyone beyond a human would live. And he did find us, too. Every last one of us. This is where it gets worse.

I lean my head against your resting place. This moment is for me. I need to prepare before I tell you this. This is where it gets hard. The children, we knew, would die before us. We live so long. But the others? It's still hard to believe. I've had centuries to consider how to tell you this, but I still don't have the words.

Let's take a break for now. Maybe I should ask you to tell me a story. Your past is so much happier than mine. Although, when I finally am able to tell you, neither of us will have anything good left to our pasts. Or, maybe, just to our futures. Our pasts still have happy memories, but even the happiness of those days feels like a burden now.

Instead, I wonder if you have changed. I know I am different. I've grown much older. There are no mirrors here so I can't say how different I look, but I don't think I could handle seeing the image of someone else on my face. I'm so fragile now. You're all I have. I use to think talking to you like this just made me insane. Now I think it's the only way I can hold onto my mind. I hope you can understand, but it's almost daylight now, and I can't stay with you any longer. So, please, sleep until I leave. I couldn't bear it if you saw me like this.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Noblesse isn't mine!

**Aftermath (Part 2)**

I don't expect you to think of me, but I thought about you while I was away. It keeps my mind off the past. Or maybe it only forces me to relive the past. I can't separate the two anymore. The present and the past. Both are the same. Try not to think about it. It's been a month now, and I've come to you in the night. It's better this way. I can speak more freely in the darkness. I feel hidden. Safe. As safe as I can feel anymore.

I've decided to tell you something. It's a rebuke. I know it must seem strange that I would say this to someone like you, but you should have told them. I don't know if it would have been enough. It was so hard. But they wouldn't have expected what they did of you. And maybe, you wouldn't be here now. It could have been different. No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. None of this was your fault. So be strong. I need you to hold onto. Even if they had known, it probably wouldn't have changed anything in the end.

So I will start with the enhanced humans. They were reckless. And it is because of their recklessness that I know anything about the first elder. It was Takeo's idea. That surprised me. I think you were surprised, too. If you don't remember, then you would be surprised now. They didn't consider the consequences, and the decision you made hurt the rest of us as well.

But let's not talk about that. I will go back to them. After the explosion at the school, M-21 was furious. He always had a temper. But it was more than that. He was so protective of the children. When they died, he lost sight of everything else. It was the same for Takeo as well. I didn't expect it. No one did. It was hasty. A suicide mission from the start. And I think that is why they left Tao out of it. But you know Tao. He would find out about it eventually. But he didn't find out in time.

Like the school, it was too late from the start. I shouldn't have told you that your secret hurt them. You wouldn't have been able to save them anyway, but you could have saved yourself. When we arrived, both of them were already dead. They were very reckless, attacking the union the way they did, but they did send us information on the first elder. That's how we knew.

But they were used to trap us. Something to lure us there, and you were injured. They were too much for us because of your secret. And now, you're here like this. It's hard to accept sometimes. I was injured, too. I almost didn't recover, and I wonder if it wouldn't be better if I had died. I know, such a thought from me. I am very different now. But you have it worse than me. I've had all this time to grieve these things, but you still have to face them. And your part in them is much more difficult to accept than mine.

But I will tell you some good news. Tao lived as far as I know. After that incident, he disappeared. I don't blame him. You will understand soon enough what it means to be the last one. And I wonder how M-21 coped with it all this time. I know I can barely hold on. I like to think of Tao. I hope he was able to live a normal life. I hope the union never found him. I choose to believe this, but I don't think it's true.

So I will give you a little time to think about this. The hardest part is next. The hardest part for you and for me. We both will need some time to prepare. So I will wait. I've had centuries, but this will be new for you. This part you don't know. So, please, hold on. Try to be strong. I'll try to be strong for you.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I only wish I came up with Noblesse.

**Aftermath (Part 3)**

I will start with something hard to understand. You died. I'll let that sink in. I know your first question must be how are you still alive? I still don't understand the answer. But I will tell you that he was desperate. He tried so hard. And I don't want you to blame him. I am so grateful for what he did. Without him, I would be alone.

Maybe I should go back. After the battle that killed the enhanced humans, you were also injured. You know him well enough to realize what this did to him. We left the human world immediately, and he placed you here. All this time, you have stayed where he left you. Please, prepare yourself. This is difficult for me to say. I want you to remember him how he was. Don't let my words change your view of him. He wouldn't want it that way.

I will start with your death. Whatever restraint he had left him. He was desperate. But he tried so hard. I watched him fall apart as attempt after attempt failed. He couldn't heal you. He couldn't save you. This will be the hardest part for you. I close my eyes as I say this. The idea that you may hear these words, even in your sleep, frightens me. I am so unstable now. But I will collect myself enough to say this.

I will answer your question now. The question you will not ask when you first wake up. I will tell you. The one who waits for you, he is not here. He will not come. Only I remain.

If you are able to hear, please listen, but if you cannot go on from this point, I will not hold it against you. I have not been able to move on. And this is new to you. I will wait as long as you need me to. When you are ready, I will tell you how it happened.

He found a way. That is how you are alive now. He found a way, but he knew you would disapprove. So he tried to not think about it. He tried to move on. I want you to know how hard he tried. It was everything he could do. But you had died, and there is no moving on from death. That's when he made a decision. Don't hold it against him. I may have made the same decision if I had the ability to carry it out.

He asked the lord to execute him. I know how this sounds, but it would have been better if she did. It would have stopped there if she had. He walked into the clan leader meeting, knelt before her throne, and begged her to execute him. He warned her that this would be the best choice. He warned her that he could no longer control what he would do. She refused him this death.

Sometimes I wonder if there had been a real head to the Landegre clan, would it have been different? Would the former leader have been able to reason with him? But I don't know the answer to that question. The former clan leader was assassinated and his soul weapon destroyed. And there was nothing I could say. I couldn't interfere in his request. I, too, had been desperate. I couldn't take this away from him.

He had helped me. Like with the children, like with the enhanced humans, like with me now, it was already too late. Seira's death was the hardest part for me. I will tell you this first. I want you to remember what he was like before you died. I want you to know what he did for me. It was in the same battle that killed you and injured me. I didn't see it happen. I am so grateful because I did see her lying there afterward, surrounded by blood, and I will never forget the fear in her eyes. I still am haunted by those memories. That's when he helped me. I don't know how he did it, but other than you, it is the second thing I hold onto. He took her soul weapon and placed it inside of me. I can't use it, but I know her soul is here with mine. It is one of the few things I have left.

But he had nothing left. You left him nothing to hold onto. And he made the choice to die as well. But the lord wouldn't give him that. Instead, he returned to the path you did not want him to take. And I do not know how he saved you. I only know that he needed more strength than he had. So when the lord refused his death, he called dark spear in the middle of the meeting. And then, he let go.

Take a moment if you need to. It's okay. I need to breathe, too. The memory of this is so hard to bear. I think that must be why I tell these things to you. When you wake up, you will share my load. I think I'm ready now. I will tell you how he saved your life. I don't know all the details. I don't understand it. But he made the decision that if he could not die with you, then he would die for you.

When he let go, when the power of his weapon took over his mind, you were not there to call him back. The clan leaders had no choice but to kill him then. They had to use their powers. And this is how he saved you. With his strength and with their strength, it was enough to jump start your heart. Don't hold it against him. Please, I beg this of you.

I know this isn't on your thoughts right now, but I will tell you what happened to the other clan leaders. Honestly, I don't know. I wasn't there. It happened while I was with you. I made a mistake. I came here, and I didn't leave before the first lights of day. The full moon disappeared, and I couldn't leave this place. When it returned, there was nothing left. I think it was the first elder, but I don't know.

I left once. I left you behind. But the world is so different now. It fell. When I came back, you were still asleep as you are now. And I broke down. I swore to you I would never leave. I will be here to tell you these things when you awake because you'll need me the way I need you. We are all we have left now. So, please, sleep. I will be strong for you when you awake so be strong for me now. And I will be here when you open your eyes. I will wait for you in this place. Please, sleep and I will tell you these things because you are the only thing keeping me sane. When you awake, I will finally be able to let go.

But for now, I will stay here with you. I don't think you should be alone right now. Not after hearing all of this. When the sun rises, I will stay behind. I will wait here for the next full moon. I lean my head against your resting place, and I close my eyes. I will sleep as I wait for you. And, maybe, when I awake, you will be there waiting for me.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Noblesse isn't mine.

This is a continuation from Rai's POV as a way to celebrate the apocalypse on 12/21/12. **  
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><p><strong>Aftermath (Part 4)<strong>

Darkness surrounds me. It invades my resting place until every corner is consumed and clings to me like an unwanted companion. Nothing is left untouched by its grasp, and I am powerless to stop it. The blackness inside my own coffin is the last thing I see before entering sleep, and I know that it will be the first thing to greet me when I awake. It is the one constant I have other than you, but even you are darkness.

I do not open my eyes. I don't want to see the shadows that have harbored with me, the demons that have watched me as I slept. And I am afraid. What lies beyond the walls of my resting place is not the life I once lived. Those days are over now. The loss of them cuts through me anew, and I can't bring myself to accept that the world has changed.

If I remain here, if I don't open my eyes, then I can live in these memories. I can think of the pleasant times when we lived with the children. You were happy then. So was I. But as I cherish these things, as I lose myself in these thoughts, the pangs of grief pierce my heart, and I can feel the flames that once scorched my skin. The sound of screams fills my ears. Death taints the air. And I know. Yes, I know. Those days are forever lost. Even if I stare into the past, I can not revive the happiness we once shared, and I will never be able to think of these things without agony again.

Instead, I linger. I wait for you. You are always there when I awake, and I need this more than I can admit. The world is different now. As I slept, it has been reborn. Everything I have once gained has been taken from me. Humanity so quickly changes. But not you. You are my one constant. I count on you to tie me to the present, to the years I have lost. Without you, I am swept away.

My fingers blindly touch the structure encompassing me. The walls of this coffin separate me from the living, and the lid lifts of its own accord as if sensing the end of my slumber. Stale air escapes my encasement with a rush of wind, and there is silence. The subtle weight of centuries lifts from my body, and all at once, I am aware that time has passed.

I do not move. I can feel the familiar presence of the Landegre clan, and I marvel at how it has changed. What was once lighthearted now has a depth of sorrow that even I have not known. His heart trembles with both terror and ecstasy. It is so broken, so fragile now, and I don't know how he has been able to keep it from shattering. His loneliness is reminiscent of my own. The way life was as I stood in the window, and the darkness of the mansion buried me alive. The days before you came.

The scrape of footsteps against the stone floor echoes through the chamber, and I know that he is standing over me. He needs me the way you have always needed me. But it is different somehow. There is something desperate in this, something so hesitant. He is crumbling before me, and still I wait. I listen for the gentle stirring of your approach, but no sound calls to me. I wonder where you are. And why you do not come.

He is speaking now. He tells me of the past, of the explosion that killed the children and the sacrifice that the enhanced humans made. And of my own choice. That I am not to blame. He knows this is a lie. I know it as well. I am at fault. I had been so afraid to sleep. So afraid to lose the life I had. But now I am even more afraid to awake. I know how deeply this decision has hurt you, and I can't forgive myself for your pain.

My mind searches through my memories, but I can't trace what has happened to you. I remember the battle. I remember knowing I would die. I remember seeing the terror on your face. The darkness in your eyes. And I remember falling asleep. But where are you? I can't feel you here. You are always there when I awake.

And then he says the words that I will never forget. The one who waits for me. You are not here. You will not come. Only he remains. Darkness surrounds me. Other than you, it is my one constant. It is always there, waiting for me to awake. And so I open my eyes. Because even you are darkness.


End file.
